“Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A pig that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.””
2 Peter 2:22
I have recommended Mark Queppet’s metascript method many times due to its incredible effectiveness in curbing bad habits. Most recently, I have been able to master the use of my smart phone to a level where I no longer worry about getting distracted by it. I did not have to lock the phone in a drawer at night, install a bunch of blocking software on it, or do anything out of the ordinary to achieve these results - only metascripting. Futhermore, the metascripting regimen was temporary; I did not have to keep journaling about the same bad habit to achieve these results.
Because the benefits of metascripting are so stark and long lasting, it is necessary to elucidate this method in more detail. Far more than just another journaling technique, metascripting is a process of sacrifice and transformation that goes beyond the words of a single entry. It requires genuine effort, self-compassion, negotiation, and compromise to make work. It is essentially a dialogue between the intellectual and emotional faculties that can permanently fix your clarity, motivation, and desires.
While everyone’s experience is likely to be different, here is the process I experienced while metascripting about some of my most problematic vices.
Phase 1: Discovery
An incredibly valuable insight that metascripting provides is awareness around what is causing your bad habit. Everyone will have differing levels of awareness, but it is always vital to build upon it. At this stage, retroactive entries that are completed soon after you have indulged the bad habit are the most vital type of metascript entry to complete. The sooner you write the entry, the easier it will be to remember the behavioral pattern that led to you failing. As well, it will be easier to remember exactly what you were feeling and wanting in the moment you fell. Queppet calls this the critical moment, and it is crucial to have a clear understanding of it in order to prepare for its future occurrences.
The first phase of the metascripting transformation is the hardest, as you will be writing a lot of retroactive entries. Queppet says retroactive entries are the hardest to write because they force you to directly confront your failure. They are however, probably the most vital and effective entry for cementing permanent gains. By the end of phase one, you will begin to see what patterns are triggers are leaving you most vulnerable to the bad habit. You may not, however, see that your bad habit is truly bad for you. You will still feel quite emotionally conflicted over your vice, even if you know it is bad.
Phase 2: Pruning
Now that you have built up a good awareness of your behavioral patterns, you can really begin to prune away the bad habit. Writing preemptive and responsive entries will help you to confront the critical moment that we established previously. This is when you develop a really solid strategy to deal with your cravings and temptations in the moment, but even more than that, this is where you may begin to experience a real mindset shift around the bad habit itself. The more honest and deep your metascripting is, the more you will begin to see the bad habit as genuinely detestable. This effect only compounds with every success you have in staying clean and true to your goals. When you begin to experience the benefits of living cleanly, lasting change will begin to occur.
It is also important to note that as your self-understanding increases, you may find that you need to re-arrange your life priorities to better fulfill your habit change goals. For example, if your particular vice is pornography, you will most likely discover that a significant trigger for your porn habit is a lack of real intimacy. The real causes of your bad habits, which are often a web of interconnected unsatisfied desires and subconscious conditioning, will begin to become more and more apparent.
Phase 3: Cementing
After you get some real gains under your belt, the process will become progressively more enjoyable, effective, and permanent. At this stage, you should really be trying to hammer down the vision of the life you want to be living without the bad habit. You will have developed a very solid understanding of your triggers, desires, and developed your tactics and mentality to counter your cravings and temptations. You will begin to take pride in defeating your bad habit day after day. Eventually, the most special thing will begin happen: you will actually begin craving the bad habit less and less. Your suspicion that your bad habit was self-sabotage will turn into a mighty conviction.
Late stage relapses are still possible, which is why it is absolutely vital that I emphasize consistency. Just like an infected patient who feels a bit better after taking a partial prescription of antibiotics, and is therefore tempted to believe they have already been healed, so too will you be tempted to ease off your metascripting as your progress increases. Do not, however, fall for this trap. Continue to smother the embers of the bad habit and do not stop until you see it on the same level as self-mutilation and other senseless forms of self-harm.
Phase 4: Healing
You will know you have completed your metascripting journey when even thinking about doing the bad habit fills you with disgust. It is hard to explain this phase to someone who has never experienced it, but it is like having a veil lifted off your eyes. You will actually see your bad habit for what it actually was: self-harm. You will feel a strong conviction that you never actually liked doing what it was that brought you so much needless pain and misery. At this stage, you can expect your temptations to seriously diminish or cease completely. You will genuinely no longer desire to do what you once did, and going back to the old ways will feel unthinkable, strange, or insane.
In this stage, it is important to meditate on gratitude and savor your victories. This acts as your own personal reward for making so many worthy sacrifices to get where you are, and it is as an extra insurance policy against any future relapses. I cannot say it is impossible to relapse again after this stage, but I will say that I have never experienced any serious relapses in my most important metascripting campaigns, some of which are well over a year old now.
Conclusion
Metascripting is very new in the self-development scene and has not seen much publicity despite its effectiveness. Some may be skeptical because they are used to the common self-help advice that says progress is all about beating and berating yourself into submission. I say to you though, that learning how to metascript is a moral imperative and necessity in modern life. I can only ask that you all honestly try it for yourselves.
Some important things to consider before metascripting:
Check out the new and old metascripting guides by Mark Queppet for a full breakdown of the method and its rationale
Check out my introduction to metascripting article for a short breakdown
Remember that metascripting works best with consistency and thoroughness; it is not just another new productivity habit but rather a master habit that can transform your life
Remember that it is important to start small with unfamiliar things and it may be wise to keep your first metascripting campaign focused on a smaller problem rather than a very big one (ex: I should stop looking at this distracting website VS I should stop watching porn)
I'm glad you're casting some light onto this self-improvement technique. I've cut out some seriously harmful vices with metascripting & sheer willpower in the last 4 years including alcohol (I have zero problems with my wife enjoying a couple glasses of wine or any other friends or family, whatever, it's just not for me anymore), smoking and porn. Now I don't indulge in any of those things. I am 100% clean of smoking for 2 years, booze for 3 & porn for four. I agree with you too about intimacy. My wife and I focus on the intimacy weekly and MAKE time for it, so porn is a non-issue.
Now that we've defeated these demons together, our final remaining vices are sugar and not working out enough. Those are both next on the list. Thank You, OMEGA JOURNEY for raising the profile of this method. Anything that helps people to successfully focus their Will on knocking down self destructive behaviors is always a really excellent thing to do. Great title for the post too, btw. A+