You have a plan outlined and laid down a path toward your goals. One consideration for you at some point along your development is to focus on the other person, working to discover more about them in the course of a conversation. Look for cues they give you such as what they do for a living or a hobby they enjoy. The person says they are a carpenter; ask them about their work. Ask a question that might have popped into your head about carpentry. Do they see prospects for new people entering the trade? People typically enjoy talking about what they do for a living or an avocation. Look for a hook to have that person talk to you a bit more than you speak to them. Pay attention to how they speak, their posture, and how they interact with others if you are in a group.
This might help you pull your thoughts and focus away from yourself while conversing. While you are concentrating on improving your speech, your mannerisms, and your interactions, allowing others to carry a larger portion of the conversational load can lighten your cognitive load in your early interactions. It might also help you be more relaxed, as it gives you a few moments of conversational pause. As an introvert, I understand how draining social interactions can be at times. If you can make it a more fun experience by learning new things about other people, you may find the journey is slightly easier.
"In particular, it is extremely difficult for me to show any warmth towards strangers or even loved ones, making me appear standoffish or downright creepy."
Try reading the book of John in the Bible, and don't get tied up in chapter and verse, but read it as a story. Each time you see the word love, check into the Greek and see what was the original word. It's mainly going to be eros, phileo or agape. Learn about those words and pay attention to each scenario they are used, it's very enlightening for social interactions.
If you are a Christian pray that God will cultivate within you these 3 traits. Over time you will start catching yourself feeling increased compassion for others.
Consistency makes it work. Conscious effort to habit to trait. Like wearing a new channel - time and repetition.
Sometimes I look for something interesting about the other person to hold attention. It doesn’t have to be directly related to the topic, especially if you get them talking with a question. Just stay present enough not to miss your turn.
Do not talk about about a self-improving item (ex: "I'm going to start the so-and-so diet") until you have done it for a significant amount of time (ex: "I did the so-and-so diet for a while, and I've noticed such and such"). It prevents procrastination.
Have you got an interest in rhetoric? When I grew up, I played video games and read a lot. I was happy to find first Shakespeare and then rhetoric. Just as there have been guides for roleplaying games, the combination of movies, TV, theatre and rhetoric, I could eventually reverse-engineer moral heroes and immoral villains. The good guys always do the same things in the stories. The good guys do like this. And bad guys do the opposite. Good women do that. And bad women do it in another way. People are predictable. What is it that makes the wrong move so wrong? And how is it different from the smart move?
When I found Rhetoric, I found personal know-how on why my choices in my earlier life were socially punished. I can now explain why I am grateful to this teacher. How she helped me in ways other teachers did not. And most importantly, what made my choices socially punished. The subject is the classical subject for how to talk.
Ever wonder if you might have adhd? Aderral has been a social game changer for me. Being able to finally tie in life experiences and knowledge has facilitated a sense of coherence much longed for.
You have a plan outlined and laid down a path toward your goals. One consideration for you at some point along your development is to focus on the other person, working to discover more about them in the course of a conversation. Look for cues they give you such as what they do for a living or a hobby they enjoy. The person says they are a carpenter; ask them about their work. Ask a question that might have popped into your head about carpentry. Do they see prospects for new people entering the trade? People typically enjoy talking about what they do for a living or an avocation. Look for a hook to have that person talk to you a bit more than you speak to them. Pay attention to how they speak, their posture, and how they interact with others if you are in a group.
This might help you pull your thoughts and focus away from yourself while conversing. While you are concentrating on improving your speech, your mannerisms, and your interactions, allowing others to carry a larger portion of the conversational load can lighten your cognitive load in your early interactions. It might also help you be more relaxed, as it gives you a few moments of conversational pause. As an introvert, I understand how draining social interactions can be at times. If you can make it a more fun experience by learning new things about other people, you may find the journey is slightly easier.
Very good suggestion, thank you
"In particular, it is extremely difficult for me to show any warmth towards strangers or even loved ones, making me appear standoffish or downright creepy."
Try reading the book of John in the Bible, and don't get tied up in chapter and verse, but read it as a story. Each time you see the word love, check into the Greek and see what was the original word. It's mainly going to be eros, phileo or agape. Learn about those words and pay attention to each scenario they are used, it's very enlightening for social interactions.
If you are a Christian pray that God will cultivate within you these 3 traits. Over time you will start catching yourself feeling increased compassion for others.
Consistency makes it work. Conscious effort to habit to trait. Like wearing a new channel - time and repetition.
Sometimes I look for something interesting about the other person to hold attention. It doesn’t have to be directly related to the topic, especially if you get them talking with a question. Just stay present enough not to miss your turn.
Quick piece of advice:
Do not talk about about a self-improving item (ex: "I'm going to start the so-and-so diet") until you have done it for a significant amount of time (ex: "I did the so-and-so diet for a while, and I've noticed such and such"). It prevents procrastination.
Have you got an interest in rhetoric? When I grew up, I played video games and read a lot. I was happy to find first Shakespeare and then rhetoric. Just as there have been guides for roleplaying games, the combination of movies, TV, theatre and rhetoric, I could eventually reverse-engineer moral heroes and immoral villains. The good guys always do the same things in the stories. The good guys do like this. And bad guys do the opposite. Good women do that. And bad women do it in another way. People are predictable. What is it that makes the wrong move so wrong? And how is it different from the smart move?
When I found Rhetoric, I found personal know-how on why my choices in my earlier life were socially punished. I can now explain why I am grateful to this teacher. How she helped me in ways other teachers did not. And most importantly, what made my choices socially punished. The subject is the classical subject for how to talk.
Ever wonder if you might have adhd? Aderral has been a social game changer for me. Being able to finally tie in life experiences and knowledge has facilitated a sense of coherence much longed for.
OCD, it can be somewhat similar.